I was writing to you on Facebook, but that felt so public. I decided to start a new blog, so that when I want to talk to you, I could just do it here. It's still public, but not so public that everyone sees it. It's been over two weeks. I still can't get the image out of my head of you going down and collapsing on the floor. Watching those men do CPR on you and try to keep you alive is ingrained into my psyche. The paramedics shocking you, trying to get your heart started again will always be there in my mind. Watching you in the hospital, while they tried to bring you back. Then finally, the doctor saying they had done all they could, and finally breaking my heart. You were gone. I still keep thinking it's a nightmare, but it's been two weeks and I haven't woke up. I remember that first date. That first time we met. You messaged me, I called you and you said to me, "let me call you back, I'm working on a carburetor". I should have