Notes to Ted

Well, today was Memorial Day.   I missed you like crazy for crazy reasons.   The breaker kept popping when we were trying to fill the pool.  I had no idea how to fix it.  Thank goodness Raja kind of remembered what you had done.  I had to go down there more than once, since it had popped and I didn't know it.   It's been crazy without you.  I missed my little lifeguard.  

My Facebook memories have had lots of travel memories in it over the last week or so.  I guess it's cuz we always had our annual honeymoons around this time.  There have been photos from Paris, San Diego, Daytona and Disney, Myrtle Beach.  Oh, and don't forget our road trip.   So many adventures.  So many fun times. So much love.  We traveled so well together.  Among so many other things.  But, we were so good when we were on the road.  Oh, sure, there were times when we had our little tiffs.  That was usually because I would get so wound up.  It took you a long time to just let me wind up then wind down.  And still, there were times that you would push the buttons.  But mostly, that happened before the trip. We had so much fun together when we traveled.  I'm so sad that we don't get any more adventures.   But, when you figure how many places we got to go that most people will never see, it's crazy.  Sheesh, who can say they've been to Hawaii for lunch three tim

Happy Anniversary my love.  We have been married for  15 years, 180 months.  Who would have thunk  it. I missed you terribly today.  So I decided to just finish painting and hide away.  So, now I'm completely exhausted.   Do you remember our wedding day??  There is not much that I remember. I remember Rodger giving me away.  I remember saying I wouldn't obey.  Cuz, I wouldn't.   I remember photos and friends and  all that stuff. I remember driving all night to get to Jackpot and starving.  Finally stopping at Subway or something for dinner.  And I don't think it was Subway.   We had a good life. It wasn't always perfect.  But, we had a good life.   #loveyoumissyou

I just counted on my fingers.  It's almost been six months.  I can't even believe that.  It's gone by so fast and so slow. I've been dealing with a lot of depression the last couple of days.  I think it stems from  the fact that I just closed on the new mortgage.  That little link was the last one with our names together.  The jeep is gone.  The mortgage is refinanced in just my name.  Crazy to think that you are being erased from my life that way.  Just legally, not in my memories. I had a hard time the other day.  I decided to take down the rest of your clothes, so I could finish painting in the closet.  I packed up the things I wanted to keep.  Then I started with the clothes that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with.  Either give to Rustie's dad or Rodger.   One of the shirts I gave you our very first Christmas was there.  I don't know why, but all  the sudden I just broke down.  It  was down to the depths of my soul bawling that came out of me.  I