Notes to Ted

Good hell, it's been eight months.  Eight crazy, long, short, insane months.  I can't even believe you have been gone closer to a year than not.   I miss you every, stinking day!!!   I missed our monthaversary.  I was really sad about that. So - Happy 182nd monthaversary.   Oh all the ways you would say Happy Monthaversary.  Mostly just reminding me every 12th day of the month.  But, I think my favorites were - when you sent me flowers in Kansas City when I was going to that class and when I was in the shower and you got in, clothes and all, to say it.   You made me very happy.  I'm so sad you aren't here to still make me happy. #loveyoumissyou

Rustie sent a group message yesterday saying Penny made her weepy.  Why?  You say??  Well, Penny was playing a game called Roblox.  I guess there is a game where you can make your own world.  Penny calls Rustie over and says, "Look mommy, it says RIP (rest in peace) on Papa's gravestone."  She had to make sure you were included in her world.  That just made me weepy, too.  Everyone misses you so much.  We all feel it.  Even the littles.   I had a horrible day at work yesterday.  They made me do things I had never done before.  Worked the international arrivals and made sure the people that were connecting put their bags on the belt.  Then when that was done, they made me work the ticket counter.  It was the worst day.  Everything I had to do was something I screwed up.  So - I just don't even want to go back today.   Oh well, life is moving.  Suckily moving.   #loveyoumissyou

Today is the Fourth of July.  You aren't here.  It's kind of a weird one.  No public or big fireworks shows.  No parades.  Just a low key, don't get in big crowds kind of event. We had dinner at Crystal and Brandon's.  Didn't barbecue, had pasta with alfredo, salad, watermelon, garlic bread.  It was a tasty, very different, holiday meal. Then we made smores for dessert.   The kids played in the pool.  And did some snakes and smoke bombs.  It was a good day.   When KayeLynn and I got home, we just kind of watched TV.  Then the fireworks started.  The private, big package fireworks.  I had to go out and sit for a little bit.  I had to watch.  Too many memories flooded about how much you loved fireworks.  I just had to go out and watch for a while.  It was kinda a sucky show, but there were a few good ones.  It was nice and warm outside.   I've kinda been pretty blue the last few days.  Just completely missing you.  I hate that you are gone.  All these things happe