Notes to Ted

So, I am planning to embark on a personal journey and goal. And it includes you. The basement. Oh good lordy, the basement. I can't even believe what you have down there. There is shizz that I have down there, too. But, it has to be done. I have to begin to get through it. So, after the first of the year, I'm going to do it. I heard the term "Death Cleanse" twice in one day. A couple of weeks ago. First by Rustie's mom showed me what she had been doing and called it a death cleanse. Then Randi said the same term and showed me the book she was listening to. So I just downloaded the book and am starting to read it. I am kind of excited about this new chapter. I am terrified about me leaving this world before this is done. I need to make sure my kids are not stuck with dealing with all of this. So - my plan is to go and spend a few hours every week down there. My other step in this is to do a will or a trust. I plan on making sure when the hous

Well, my love, it's Christmas. The second one without you. I hope you had a beautiful Christmas where you are. I have to say. I had a wonderful day yesterday. Christmas Eve, you know, CoCo Christmas. I was very excited this year for the holiday. I was very excited to spend it with my family. I loved it!! We had Fettuccini Alfredo, Garlic Bread and salad. Brandon brought wine. It was a good day!!! I was worn out!!! Today I worked. I traded shifts with one of the other girls so she could be home for part of the holiday and get home earlier. It wasn't a bad day to work eight hours. I only worked two flights. A delayed Vegas flight and Honolulu. Then at the Help Desk for two hours. I was pretty happy to get home, though. One more day and I'll get my weekend. So much cleaning to do now. I love you so much. I miss you so much. You are missed by everyone. #loveyoumissyou

Wow - it's my 60th letter to you. Just hard to put that into perspective. I told KayeLynn yesterday that I miss football. It's not just the game, but the time with you. Sitting on the couch while you sat on the edge of your chair - remote control in hand - ready to rewind and say, "watch this play!!". You don't realize what you miss until it's gone. And that is one of the things I miss. Even though we really didn't watch a lot of football your last year. You were kind of boycotting it. But, you did start paying a little more attention the season that you died. I truly am lost by sports now. Because of the pandemic, I just don't even know what is going on. I mean, I got a news update about the winnder of the World Series and I was like - the World Series was going on?? Just that kind of feeling. I had a full on PTSD attack the other day. I was at work. I had been sitting for a while, so I decided to see if I could go home. One of the re