Notes to Ted

So I've decided to give a new name to a certain day of the week.  I will now be calling it Productive Tuesdays.  I'm giving myself a goal to accomplish on that day and doing everything I can to meet that goal.  This Tuesday, I worked on our bathroom and our bedroom.  I finished up most of the painting, there is the other side of the beam that I still need to do, but it doesn't show - so I'm not too worried.  😂😂  Went through your nightstand drawers.  A lot of the stuff in there made me smile.   I also started painting our closet.   I'm doing the same colors as the bathroom.  I made a nice little shrine to you on your nightstand.  Got a picture of you in front of the flags from when we were at the Missouri.  I have your NSA mug with a bunch of little tools in it.  Your Jeeps.  Your Marine beanie and your Get Smart beanie.  One of your floppy hats. Your one Marine hat is hanging above the night stand.  It looks pretty awesome.  As I go through stuff, I may end u

So I've slowly been going through your stuff.  There is so much of it.  Crystal, Brandon and the kiddos were here yesterday while we went through stuff in the bedroom.  Going through your travel stuff was really hard. So many memories and stuff.  Your soap box, gosh.  Part of the way through, Crystal got very weepy.  She gets bloody noses when she cries.  So then she got that stinking bloody nose.  She misses you so bad.  She said Chelsea is signed up for volleyball, but it just isn't going to be the same without the number one fan on the bench.  When we finally loaded up a trailer full of stuff to go to the DI and Crystal, Brandon and the left with it, KayeLynn got all weepy.  It really is a struggle to go on without you.  Every time I see that photo next to my bed, I just realize that I can't believe you are gone.  That face in that picture is just so much of what I remember of you.  Good hell, I miss you.  Going through your stuff is hard.  But, it also makes me

I didn't write on the two month anniversary.  I thought about it, but I didn't. I feel like you are here sometimes, and other times I don't.  Last night was crazy and I am pretty sure you were here.  First off, we had a strange noise from the front of the house and the one kitty kept staring over there.  Then, she sat and stared at the corner here in the living room.  Then all the sudden the Siri, or whatever it is, on your phone went off.  I called one of the kittens a turd, then all the sudden your phone was giving the definition of turd and it was on your phone.  That is the second time your phone has done something like that.  But, the funny thing with this was, I was in the bathroom and your phone was in the living room.  KayeLynn laughed and laughed.  It's good we don't get spooked by the things that happened.  They actually give me comfort. I took away your shoes and some of your clothes yesterday.  It causes me stress, because I think you get upset with

Happy 176th monthaversary.

I just went and boxed up the shoes you had under the bed and the floor of the closet.  That was kind of rough.  I just know you are yelling at me, you wouldn't even let me throw away the raggediest shoes in the land.  You had at least five pairs of black athletic shoes.  I am not sure why.  I think you would always wear one pair until they couldn't be worn again.  But, I do know why - because you could never buy just one of any one thing. Then I went through the shoe boxes you had stuck in the corner.  The suspenders made me smile.  The little souvenirs you have kept from places we have gone.  I didn't even know you still had those things. I hated throwing those things away or boxing things up.  It kills me.  I just hate that you are probably upset with me for getting rid of things.  But, I really don't know what else to do.  I have to start getting things in order.  I may have to sell this house and I can't leave it until the very end - or I'll just be comp

Hello my love.  It's been a few days.  Not that I'm not always thinking about you, I just don't have a lot to tell you from day to day.  It's been pretty normal.  Just working and coming home and trying to accomplish something.  Generally, I don't.  I had specific plans during my days off and I don't think I accomplished but a couple.  Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and dishes.  I didn't get your shoes gathered up.  I didn't get the bathroom countertop finished.  I didn't get most things done. I heard from Discover Card finally.  I think that is everything.  I'm not 100% sure they aren't going to go after something, but I really doubt you have hidden assets, so I don't know that there is anything to worry about.  But, you know me.  I always will worry. I went to HOA last night.  For some reason, that was giving me anxiety.  I made it through.  I got the proxies out.  They have someone to replace you.  I wanted to knock him off that chai

I know you heard me making fun or making comments about someone.  I am sure of it.  And I shouldn't have done that.  However, I haven't made it secret about how I feel about that person.  But, I know you care about that person.  So - I'm sorry. #loveyoumissyou

Well, my love, the year 2019 is in the books. I would say that with the exception of the last six or seven weeks, that 2019 was actually a great year.  We had a couple of fun trips.  Things were really, actually, wonderful.  Then November 14 came and took you away from me. Well, I made a goal of getting those last few movies in that we wanted to see.  I made it to Knives Out, Jumanji and finally Star Wars.  I felt like I really accomplished something by first walking into a movie theater and second seeing the movies that we had planned on seeing - and doing it by the end of the year.  I managed to hack your movie club, so that was helpful for Star Wars.  😄 Then, yesterday, we kept with tradition and went to the dollar theater.  Rodger was working and Rustie was not feeling well, so KayeLynn and I went and got the two older girls and met with Crystal, Brandon, Zach and Chelsea.  All of us went and saw Playing With Fire and then all the ladies went to see Addams Family and the boy