Dear Ted - #62 - Death Cleanse

So, I am planning to embark on a personal journey and goal. And it includes you. The basement. Oh good lordy, the basement. I can't even believe what you have down there. There is shizz that I have down there, too. But, it has to be done. I have to begin to get through it. So, after the first of the year, I'm going to do it. I heard the term "Death Cleanse" twice in one day. A couple of weeks ago. First by Rustie's mom showed me what she had been doing and called it a death cleanse. Then Randi said the same term and showed me the book she was listening to. So I just downloaded the book and am starting to read it. I am kind of excited about this new chapter. I am terrified about me leaving this world before this is done. I need to make sure my kids are not stuck with dealing with all of this. So - my plan is to go and spend a few hours every week down there. My other step in this is to do a will or a trust. I plan on making sure when the house is sold after my death that the money is split up between all of our kids. I am trying to get my life in order, so I don't have to worry about things. Cuz - you know what I do best - WORRY!!!! #loveyoumissyou

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Dear Ted #45 - Independence Day

Today is the Fourth of July. You aren't here. It's kind of a weird one. No public or big fireworks shows. No parades. Just a low key, don't get in big crowds kind of event. We had dinner at Crystal and Brandon's. Didn't barbecue, had pasta with alfredo, salad, watermelon, garlic bread. It was a tasty, very different, holiday meal. Then we made smores for dessert. The kids played in the pool. And did some snakes and smoke bombs. It was a good day. When KayeLynn and I got home, we just kind of watched TV. Then the fireworks started. The private, big package fireworks. I had to go out and sit for a little bit. I had to watch. Too many memories flooded about how much you loved fireworks. I just had to go out and watch for a while. It was kinda a sucky show, but there were a few good ones. It was nice and warm outside. I've kinda been pretty blue the last few days. ...

Dear Ted #41 - Memorial Day 2020

Well, today was Memorial Day. I missed you like crazy for crazy reasons. The breaker kept popping when we were trying to fill the pool. I had no idea how to fix it. Thank goodness Raja kind of remembered what you had done. I had to go down there more than once, since it had popped and I didn't know it. It's been crazy without you. I missed my little lifeguard.

Dear Ted #19

Hello my love. It's been a few days. Not that I'm not always thinking about you, I just don't have a lot to tell you from day to day. It's been pretty normal. Just working and coming home and trying to accomplish something. Generally, I don't. I had specific plans during my days off and I don't think I accomplished but a couple. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and dishes. I didn't get your shoes gathered up. I didn't get the bathroom countertop finished. I didn't get most things done. I heard from Discover Card finally. I think that is everything. I'm not 100% sure they aren't going to go after something, but I really doubt you have hidden assets, so I don't know that there is anything to worry about. But, you know me. I always will worry. I went to HOA last night. For some reason, that was giving me anxiety. I made it through. I got the proxies out. They have someone to replace ...

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