Dear Ted - #62 - Death Cleanse

So, I am planning to embark on a personal journey and goal. And it includes you. The basement. Oh good lordy, the basement. I can't even believe what you have down there. There is shizz that I have down there, too. But, it has to be done. I have to begin to get through it. So, after the first of the year, I'm going to do it. I heard the term "Death Cleanse" twice in one day. A couple of weeks ago. First by Rustie's mom showed me what she had been doing and called it a death cleanse. Then Randi said the same term and showed me the book she was listening to. So I just downloaded the book and am starting to read it. I am kind of excited about this new chapter. I am terrified about me leaving this world before this is done. I need to make sure my kids are not stuck with dealing with all of this. So - my plan is to go and spend a few hours every week down there. My other step in this is to do a will or a trust. I plan on making sure when the house is sold after my death that the money is split up between all of our kids. I am trying to get my life in order, so I don't have to worry about things. Cuz - you know what I do best - WORRY!!!! #loveyoumissyou

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Dear Ted #45 - Independence Day

Today is the Fourth of July. You aren't here. It's kind of a weird one. No public or big fireworks shows. No parades. Just a low key, don't get in big crowds kind of event. We had dinner at Crystal and Brandon's. Didn't barbecue, had pasta with alfredo, salad, watermelon, garlic bread. It was a tasty, very different, holiday meal. Then we made smores for dessert. The kids played in the pool. And did some snakes and smoke bombs. It was a good day. When KayeLynn and I got home, we just kind of watched TV. Then the fireworks started. The private, big package fireworks. I had to go out and sit for a little bit. I had to watch. Too many memories flooded about how much you loved fireworks. I just had to go out and watch for a while. It was kinda a sucky show, but there were a few good ones. It was nice and warm outside. I've kinda been pretty blue the last few days. ...

Dear Ted #19

Hello my love. It's been a few days. Not that I'm not always thinking about you, I just don't have a lot to tell you from day to day. It's been pretty normal. Just working and coming home and trying to accomplish something. Generally, I don't. I had specific plans during my days off and I don't think I accomplished but a couple. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and dishes. I didn't get your shoes gathered up. I didn't get the bathroom countertop finished. I didn't get most things done. I heard from Discover Card finally. I think that is everything. I'm not 100% sure they aren't going to go after something, but I really doubt you have hidden assets, so I don't know that there is anything to worry about. But, you know me. I always will worry. I went to HOA last night. For some reason, that was giving me anxiety. I made it through. I got the proxies out. They have someone to replace ...

Dear Ted - #56 - Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday my love!! I hope you had a wonderful, heavenly birthday. Doing whatever you wanted to do. I made it through today ok. I lazed in bed, not wanting to get out and face the day, for quite some time. Then I got up. By the afternoon, I was kind of in a groove. But, when it came to the evening, I had a really hard time facing being by myself - staying in quarantine. I was already out. KayeLynn has to do all the shopping, because I'm not supposed to leave the house. She was kind of wiped out when it was done, so she asked if I would make your cake. So - I made the cake and then later made the biscuits and put dinner together. You see, we had a full on, virtual type dinner. All in your honor. Susan thought of it and put it together. It was all based on a dream she had with you in it. She dreamt that we had been to visit and we left a box there. The box was full of Red...

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