It's been a while. I have been meaning to write, but then I don't. I don't know why I'm holding back right now, but something keeps me from writing. I guess I'm just dealing with a lot of stuff right now and don't want to burden you. But, who do I burden if not you?
I've been working on cleaning the basement. I just go down there for a bit every week. Saturday, Crystal, Brandon and the kids came over and we loaded up their trailer with a load for the dump. I'm starting to get through some stuff, but it's going to be a long journey!!!
I'm dealing with health issues. I have not taken care of myself the last year, since you left. At all. So now, I'm paying the piper. I am now diabetic. My A1C was ridiculous - 14.2. So, I'm now on Metformin and checking my sugar levels three times a day. I've resigned myself to that. But, the scary thing is that my doctor is worried about my liver. So, I have an appointment with a specialist next week. I have been quite worried about it. I'm scared about what it means and you aren't here to give me part of your liver.
Anyway - that it why I haven't been writing. Mostly because I just don't know what is going on in my body and my head. I missed our monthaversary. And I'm sorry for that. I love you more than you'll ever know.
I kind of watched the Super Bowl last night. Mostly fast forwarded the game, catching the score, and watching commercials. I watched the National Anthem. I started to cry, because it reminded me of you. I always wanted to win a trip to the Super Bowl so you could go. That will never happen.
OK - I'll try to be better about writing.
#loveyoumissyou
Happy Birthday my love!! I hope you had a wonderful, heavenly birthday. Doing whatever you wanted to do. I made it through today ok. I lazed in bed, not wanting to get out and face the day, for quite some time. Then I got up. By the afternoon, I was kind of in a groove. But, when it came to the evening, I had a really hard time facing being by myself - staying in quarantine. I was already out. KayeLynn has to do all the shopping, because I'm not supposed to leave the house. She was kind of wiped out when it was done, so she asked if I would make your cake. So - I made the cake and then later made the biscuits and put dinner together. You see, we had a full on, virtual type dinner. All in your honor. Susan thought of it and put it together. It was all based on a dream she had with you in it. She dreamt that we had been to visit and we left a box there. The box was full of Red...

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