Dear Ted #64

It's been a while. I have been meaning to write, but then I don't. I don't know why I'm holding back right now, but something keeps me from writing. I guess I'm just dealing with a lot of stuff right now and don't want to burden you. But, who do I burden if not you? I've been working on cleaning the basement. I just go down there for a bit every week. Saturday, Crystal, Brandon and the kids came over and we loaded up their trailer with a load for the dump. I'm starting to get through some stuff, but it's going to be a long journey!!! I'm dealing with health issues. I have not taken care of myself the last year, since you left. At all. So now, I'm paying the piper. I am now diabetic. My A1C was ridiculous - 14.2. So, I'm now on Metformin and checking my sugar levels three times a day. I've resigned myself to that. But, the scary thing is that my doctor is worried about my liver. So, I have an appointment with a specialist next week. I have been quite worried about it. I'm scared about what it means and you aren't here to give me part of your liver. Anyway - that it why I haven't been writing. Mostly because I just don't know what is going on in my body and my head. I missed our monthaversary. And I'm sorry for that. I love you more than you'll ever know. I kind of watched the Super Bowl last night. Mostly fast forwarded the game, catching the score, and watching commercials. I watched the National Anthem. I started to cry, because it reminded me of you. I always wanted to win a trip to the Super Bowl so you could go. That will never happen. OK - I'll try to be better about writing. #loveyoumissyou