Dear Ted - #70 - Two years

Well, it's been two years. I can't even believe it. I worked all day and kept my mind off things. Since being home, it's not as easy. I love you more than you'll ever know.

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Dear Ted #73 - The Reunion

Hello my love. I just wanted you to know that I am so happy that you and your mama are together again. I am sure you were trying to be the very first to welcome her. I am sad she is gone from here, but she wasn't in a good place here the last couple of years. I felt really bad that I wasn't able to go visit her - STUPID COVID!!! Give her a big hug from me. I love you more than you'll ever know. And I miss you, too. All I could think of when I heard the news, what a beautiful reunion there was tonight.

Dear Ted #30

So here are a few of the things I can't do since you died: I haven't been able to change the fitted sheet on your side of the bed. Or the pillowcase. Harper and Penny have slept there, but I can't change them. Your water mug that sat next to you with your ice water has not been emptied or washed. I know that is weird, but somehow it signifies you. I don't watch our TV shows for the most part. I don't watch NCIS, Bull or a bunch of other shows. I can't sleep on days that I have to work. I'm exhausted four days a week. I can't take strong sleepy drugs on those days, Melatonin does nothing for me anymore. I don't know if it's a subconscious thing, because you're not there to make sure I get up. Whatever it is, I'm exhausted. I'm actually thinking of going a night shift. I know there is more. That is just what I thought of. And doing our taxes this year is sending me through anxiety hell. #loveyoumissyou

Dear Ted #72 - Happy Birthday/Veterans Day

Hello my love, Yesterday was your birthday. I hope you had a great one. I hope you had an effing birthday burger - especially since I couldn't have one for you. I got my knee replacement two weeks ago. I'm still hobbling around. I really haven't left the house except to go to the doctor. But I'm getting better every day. But, I still can't eat meat. So that's an issue. I've lost a lot more weight that I ever intended. I'm down to 143 pounds. That's over 100 pounds lost. I always figured I would get to about 160 to 180 and be done. But my own body won't even let me stop losing weight. Today is Veteran's Day. I did manage to hobble out to the garage and get your USMC flag out in your honor. I was pretty proud of myself for doing that. I haven't been using my walker, so that was pretty impressive in my mind. I love you. Hope you had a great birthday. Miss you more than you'll know.

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