Dear Ted #20

I just went and boxed up the shoes you had under the bed and the floor of the closet.  That was kind of rough.  I just know you are yelling at me, you wouldn't even let me throw away the raggediest shoes in the land.  You had at least five pairs of black athletic shoes.  I am not sure why.  I think you would always wear one pair until they couldn't be worn again.  But, I do know why - because you could never buy just one of any one thing.

Then I went through the shoe boxes you had stuck in the corner.  The suspenders made me smile.  The little souvenirs you have kept from places we have gone.  I didn't even know you still had those things.

I hated throwing those things away or boxing things up.  It kills me.  I just hate that you are probably upset with me for getting rid of things.  But, I really don't know what else to do.  I have to start getting things in order.  I may have to sell this house and I can't leave it until the very end - or I'll just be completely overwhelmed.

I told Brandon today that the garage and the basement are overwhelming and claustrophobic.  That is the only way I can describe it.  I just don't know what else to do.

I just hope you aren't angry with me.  Because I couldn't stand that.

#loveyoumissyou