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Dear Ted #28

My goodness, it has been a rough couple of days.  I didn't know I had that many tears inside of me.  I was  not crying for so long, that now I am having a hard time stopping.

Coming home yesterday, I got a little emotional.  I always do once those grandkid trips are over.  But, I started thinking about the very last time I saw your face.  You looked so at peace.  Just like you were sleeping.  And I had  to walk away from you forever.  Never to see that face again.  I started crying and I couldn't stop.  I had to run out of Rodger and Rustie's house, leaving Harper there, because I couldn't stop crying.

Then today, I finally resolved to turn off your phone.  There really isn't a reason to have it on anymore.  There hasn't been a reason for months.  But, I finally decided I needed to take that step.  I wasn't ready for the emotions that it would set off.  Especially when it was done and I wasn't sure if I could hear your voicemail anymore.  I had a total freak out.  So, when I found it was still there, I used your phone to record it and sent it to me in your Messenger.  For some reason, this picture helped calm me down.



I miss you so much.  I can't even handle how much I really miss you.

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