My goodness, it has been a rough couple of days. I didn't know I had that many tears inside of me. I was not crying for so long, that now I am having a hard time stopping.
Coming home yesterday, I got a little emotional. I always do once those grandkid trips are over. But, I started thinking about the very last time I saw your face. You looked so at peace. Just like you were sleeping. And I had to walk away from you forever. Never to see that face again. I started crying and I couldn't stop. I had to run out of Rodger and Rustie's house, leaving Harper there, because I couldn't stop crying.
Then today, I finally resolved to turn off your phone. There really isn't a reason to have it on anymore. There hasn't been a reason for months. But, I finally decided I needed to take that step. I wasn't ready for the emotions that it would set off. Especially when it was done and I wasn't sure if I could hear your voicemail anymore. I had a total freak out. So, when I found it was still there, I used your phone to record it and sent it to me in your Messenger. For some reason, this picture helped calm me down.
I miss you so much. I can't even handle how much I really miss you.
Coming home yesterday, I got a little emotional. I always do once those grandkid trips are over. But, I started thinking about the very last time I saw your face. You looked so at peace. Just like you were sleeping. And I had to walk away from you forever. Never to see that face again. I started crying and I couldn't stop. I had to run out of Rodger and Rustie's house, leaving Harper there, because I couldn't stop crying.
Then today, I finally resolved to turn off your phone. There really isn't a reason to have it on anymore. There hasn't been a reason for months. But, I finally decided I needed to take that step. I wasn't ready for the emotions that it would set off. Especially when it was done and I wasn't sure if I could hear your voicemail anymore. I had a total freak out. So, when I found it was still there, I used your phone to record it and sent it to me in your Messenger. For some reason, this picture helped calm me down.
I miss you so much. I can't even handle how much I really miss you.
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