Skip to main content

Dear Ted #33

Oh my gosh!!!  What a crazy time and you're missing it.  You planned and planned for this.  And now you aren't here to be prepared for the rest of us. 

So, after you died, this whole new virus started in China.  It's really not that fatal, like 3% of the people who get it die from it. The problem is, it is highly contagious.  And goes through a place like a fire in the hay. And generally, it's worse for those with other issues and the elderly.   In February it took down a few cruise ships and this month, it's made it's way to the US.  It's been through all of Asia, the middle East, the Caribbean, everywhere.  Now  it's here.  So - in order to kind of lower the exposure, they've asked people to have social distance.  There is a ban of gatherings with ten or more people.  The schools are  shut down for at least two  weeks.  Now restaurants cannot have people inside the restaurants, you have to do delivery, curb side, pick up or drive through.  It's really quite insane.  It's called flattening the curve - less exposure, less likely to infect as many people.  It's like your favorite show, The Walking Dead.  The virus is now in all 50 states.  We have about 45 here.  So - here we go, apocalypse in session and you are not here to be prepared for us.  I always told you, I planned on dieing in the  first phase of the apocalypse and now you are gone.  You were the one who wanted to live through this.

Now - on Saturday, I got the day off and KayeLynn and I drove up to Idaho Falls to see Dee and the boys.  It was good to see them.   They are all looking good.  We took a bunch of stuff up for them.  We had some lunch and then KayeLynn and I headed home.

Saturday was also the four month anniversary of your death.  God I miss you so bad. 

Monday, when I was  done with work, I had made plans to go to Reno.  So, I finished my shift, came home, went to the bank and hopped on a  plane.  This was my first trip without you, where I was all alone.  I took a little of you with me, though.  I will always have you with me.  I went and  played and had a great time.  I ended up coming home with more cash than I took.  Stayed the night.  Ate in the cafe all by myself.  They  had closed down every other restaurant, except the cafe.  I came home Tuesday afternoon.  Later that evening, it  was  announced that the governor of Nevada has called for all casinos to shut down for at least two weeks.  So - I barely made it in and made it out.

This morning, at 7:09 a.m., the house started shaking, booming, things started crashing and it kept up for quite some time.  We had the largest earthquake I had ever felt.  It was  a 5.7.  We've had quite a few aftershocks, most of them small.  But, a couple of them have been 3.9 and 4.5.  It's been crazy.  I lost my favorite teapot and the adorable plate made for me by the grandkiddos.  We had pictures fall, there is stuff in the garage that fell.   We have hardly seen the kittens.  The one just barely came down from her hiding place upstairs.  The other one came out for a bit, until the biggest aftershock hit, and ran into her hiding place inside the chaise lounge.

Then I decided to go take a little nap, since the earthquake had woke me up kinda early.  During my nap, I had this dream.  It was so completely real.  You were there. You were naked - at least from the waist up.  You were sad.  We were hugging and loving on each other.  You had tears in your eyes.  I swear it was real.  There were no words spoken.  But, damn, I swear you were there.  I hope it was you.  That made me so happy.

Well, we'll make it.  I'm worried about my job.  I'm worried about if any of our family get the virus.  It's a scary time.   I swear, you would have us living in the mountains right now with all that expired Spam.  I love you so much and miss you even more. 

What a freaking week, and it's only Wednesday!!!

I found this picture in my  memories today.  It made me smile, because you look so happy.  Even though you were kind of sick and scaring me.  Because the last time you had wrapped up that much, you went into the hospital for two weeks.  But the look on your face makes me happy.



#loveyoumissyou

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Ted - #70 - Two years

Well, it's been two years. I can't even believe it. I worked all day and kept my mind off things. Since being home, it's not as easy. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Dear Ted #73 - The Reunion

Hello my love. I just wanted you to know that I am so happy that you and your mama are together again. I am sure you were trying to be the very first to welcome her. I am sad she is gone from here, but she wasn't in a good place here the last couple of years. I felt really bad that I wasn't able to go visit her - STUPID COVID!!! Give her a big hug from me. I love you more than you'll ever know. And I miss you, too. All I could think of when I heard the news, what a beautiful reunion there was tonight.

Dear Ted #30

So here are a few of the things I can't do since you died: I haven't been able to change the fitted sheet on your side of the bed.  Or the pillowcase.  Harper and Penny have slept there, but I can't change them. Your water mug that sat next to you with your ice water has not been emptied or washed.  I know that is weird, but somehow it signifies you. I don't watch our TV shows for the most part.  I don't watch NCIS, Bull or a bunch of other shows. I can't sleep on days that I have to work.  I'm exhausted four days a week. I can't take strong sleepy drugs on those days, Melatonin does nothing for me anymore. I don't know if it's a subconscious thing, because you're not there to make sure I get up.  Whatever it is, I'm exhausted.  I'm actually thinking of going a night shift. I know there is more. That is just what I thought of.  And doing our taxes this year is sending me through anxiety hell.   #loveyoumissyou