Today is overwhelming. And when I say overwhelming, I mean OVERFUCKINGWHELMING!!!!
You've left me in a bit of a mess, my love. I don't know what your debt is. I don't know what anyone will come after me for. I am barely able to make my own debt payments, let alone I need to figure out how to pay a mortgage now. I really, honestly, keep wanting to just ignore anything and everything until after the first of the year. Why can I not just live in a bubble for three or four more weeks??? Then I'll figure things out.
Steve was here. He's got me even more worried. I have no clue where to go or what to do. He's talking about reverse mortgages and all that. Well, I really don't want to do that. I want to be able to leave something to the kids.
I guess if nothing else, I'll drain my 401 from the city and pay off your debts. I'm already planning to do that with mine, so I can continue to live. WTF??? Why does this have to be so complicated. We never wanted to join monies, we never felt we needed to. Now I am not sure what the hell is going on and what I'm going to get stuck with. GAH.
I went to the doctor today. I had to go to get my meds refilled. I have shingles. She says that's probably due to stress. I guess it has to come out somewhere. She is giving me an anti-depressant to take for a while, because of the anxiety I've been dealing with. I'm truly at the end of my rope in how to deal with everything. It's completely exhausting. I just want to go to bed, cover my head and not deal with anything again.
I wish I knew how to deal with things. I told the doctor I couldn't cry anymore. That I just got anxious over everything. She told me that was normal. I was so glad to hear that, because I thought I was being a heartless bitch because I didn't cry anymore. I guess I'm just normal.
I sure wish you would give me a clue as to what to do. I honestly just want to exist in a bit of a normal way. Missing you. But, not be overwhelmed by what the future holds. I wish you could give me any idea of what to do.
#missyouloveyou
You've left me in a bit of a mess, my love. I don't know what your debt is. I don't know what anyone will come after me for. I am barely able to make my own debt payments, let alone I need to figure out how to pay a mortgage now. I really, honestly, keep wanting to just ignore anything and everything until after the first of the year. Why can I not just live in a bubble for three or four more weeks??? Then I'll figure things out.
Steve was here. He's got me even more worried. I have no clue where to go or what to do. He's talking about reverse mortgages and all that. Well, I really don't want to do that. I want to be able to leave something to the kids.
I guess if nothing else, I'll drain my 401 from the city and pay off your debts. I'm already planning to do that with mine, so I can continue to live. WTF??? Why does this have to be so complicated. We never wanted to join monies, we never felt we needed to. Now I am not sure what the hell is going on and what I'm going to get stuck with. GAH.
I went to the doctor today. I had to go to get my meds refilled. I have shingles. She says that's probably due to stress. I guess it has to come out somewhere. She is giving me an anti-depressant to take for a while, because of the anxiety I've been dealing with. I'm truly at the end of my rope in how to deal with everything. It's completely exhausting. I just want to go to bed, cover my head and not deal with anything again.
I wish I knew how to deal with things. I told the doctor I couldn't cry anymore. That I just got anxious over everything. She told me that was normal. I was so glad to hear that, because I thought I was being a heartless bitch because I didn't cry anymore. I guess I'm just normal.
I sure wish you would give me a clue as to what to do. I honestly just want to exist in a bit of a normal way. Missing you. But, not be overwhelmed by what the future holds. I wish you could give me any idea of what to do.
#missyouloveyou
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