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Dear Ted #7

Hello my love.  Just wanted to talk a minute.  I'm all alone tonight.  KayeLynn is with auntie.  I just realized yesterday was three weeks.  I keep thinking you died on a Friday, it was really close to a Friday, but it was actually on a Thursday.  But that whole night/day/night just felt like one full day, so I get stuck on Friday.  I'm still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that you are dead.  You were bigger than life.  How can you be gone??

Everyone is having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit.  I have the tree up - but it's been up since last year.  I put the lights on that you and I bought, because the others stopped working.  But, no decoration.  None at all. 

I went to the doctor yesterday.  She gave me a low dose anti-depressant to maybe help with the anxiety.  It makes me nauseated.  I don't know if that is what has taken away any energy I had, but I truly am having trouble keeping my eyes open today.  KayeLynn kept saying, Mom, you're sleeping during your show.  You're going to miss who got eliminated. 

Good news on your mom.  She is well enough to move to a rehab facility, so she is leaving the hospital today.  Hopefully she feels better soon.  Mary seems to think that she will be there for a while.

Well, one day it's going to hit me that you are really gone.  I just don't know if I want that to come.  I am truly living in a zone of you're just out of town.  I think I like that idea better than you being really gone. 

I love you.

#loveyoumissyou

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